Love vs Hina: A Capture the Flag Fic
by Murto
Summary: 5TH CHAPTER IS HERE! Umm...I'll let you just read it for yourself. This appears to be my most hilarious chapter yet in a very disturbing way. Shinobu goes on a killing spree, Kitsune's drunk, Murto teleports, Mutsumi drives a tank! READ AND REVIEW!
1. What's the cloth on stick called again?

****

Title: Love vs Hina: A CTF FanFic

****

Chapter: #1 – What's this cloth thing on the stick called again?

****

Author: Murto (You will not laugh, you will not cry unless I tell you to! The first and last words out of your stinkin' holes will be "Sir!")

.

Myuu: *Walks into the barracks wearing a rather fan-servicey army uniform #1 * Sergeant Murto, you've been court-martialed. 

Murto: What _IS_ your major malfunction, numbnuts?

Myuu: First of all, I'm female. *Twirls around on the spot, making all the other soldiers nosebleed* Second of all, your on 'Spud Duty'. 

Murto: *Anime Fall*

.

****

Notes: Ok, as you can see it is a very original idea as far as Love Hina Fan Fiction is concerned. I know, I've been playing too many computer games, watching too much 'Red vs Blue' and 'Full Metal Jacket'. They are part of the reason that I haven't finished some of my other fics yet. Assignments on Indigenous fishing rights and Reconciliation haven't helped either. Anyhoo, lets soldier on! (Literally)

****

Legal Crap: I don't own Love Hina, or any parts of other things that aren't mine (eg Full Metal Jacket, Red vs Blue, Tribes 1, UT 1 etc.). However as I think I'm the first to do this so far, so I _do _own the idea of Love Hina Capture the Flag, and maybe some aspects of the plot but I don't think anyone wants my plot lines anyway. 

****

Ps. Yes, I have proof read this. There are NO spelling mistakes. At least according to the Macquarie Australian Dictionary anway. ^_^

------------------------------------------------------------------.

****

Love vs Hina: A CTF Fic

Chapter 1: What's this cloth thing on the stick again?

.

"Come on Murto, throw in your share," Keitaro said, dryly. 

"Dude, I'm not doing it," Murto stated. "I didn't get anything extra out of it so I'm not paying."

"Ara, just leave Murto alone. Paying a tip isn't a custom in his country, we shouldn't force our culture onto other countries." Mutsumi said in Murto's defence. #2

Everyone turned and looked at the sociopath Sarah and the Authors Talon and Silver, who just appeared out of nowhere for the sake of convenience. 

"What?" They all said simultaneously, the Americans obviously weirded out by everyone's looks. #3

"Anyway, I'm with Urashima," Motoko said boldy, clutching the hilt of her katana. "Pay up Murto."

"No!" Murto spoke, raising his voice. 

"PAY UP!" Naru threatened, winding back her arm.

"Punching me isn't gonna get any money outta me, Naru-chan." 

"DON'T CALL ME NARU-CHAN!"

"N-naru-senpai, no need to get angry. He just doesn't want to, that's all." Shinobu said, meekly throwing her 2 cents worth in both literally and not literally. 

"Aww, come now sugar," Kitsune said, the other patrons at the coffee shop stopping and watching the argument unfold. "I'm sure we can work something out."

------------------------------------------------------------.

****

Later, back at the Hinata-sou

.

Naru, still quite obviously pissed off about Murto's stinginess or his pure lack of consideration for other nations' customs, changed out of her clothes and sat herself down in the Hot springs. 

All was quiet. 

Until of course Keitaro's bloodcurdling screams filled the air. 

Then Shinobu's.,.

Then Kitsune's.,.

Then about 5 or 6 more screams followed in a similar sort of fashion until everything became deathly silent. 

Suddenly, Suu popped out of the Hinata and ran over to Naru hiding something behind her back. 

"What's going on in there Suu? If Keitaro is being a perverted little bas-" Naru said cut off by Suu's energetic rambling. 

"Suu's got it! Suu's got it! Yay yay YAY!!" the insane girl in question dancing around in circles holding one of the visors from episode 7. 

"Suu, what are you doing? I thought those things broke ages ago."

"Suu has solved this morning's argument!" Kaolla squealed whilst glomping Naru with the device then securing all the straps around her chin. 

"Let the fun begin!!" she squealed again, somehow glomping herself in a similar fashion. 

---------------------------------------------------------.

****

A short while later, amongst a huge black nothingness

.

"Suu, so help me. Why did you do that?" Keitaro asked clutching the bridge of his nose. 

"Suu wanted to solve argument. Now she has solution!" She said moonwalking her way to a big grey wall and pressing a red button on it. 

"What are you doing?" Motoko said, drawing her sword with a confused disposition. 

"THERE!! Have fun!" Kaolla cheered as she, along with everyone else, vanished. 

--------------------------------------.

"What in the hell are we doing in 'Bloodgulch Canyon'?" Murto asked, holding a pistol. 

"Ara, I think Suu took the argument a little too far. " Mutsumi replied, wearing a tight-fitting and rather revealing piece of red battle armour. 

"T-this feels wrong, Murto-senpai." Shinobu said, packing a .12 gauge double-barreled shotgun. 

"Aww shucks," Kitsune complained. "Of all the great schemes and ideas that are thought up in the Hinata, the pinnacle had to be Suu's."

"Oh well, could be worse. We could have been 'Blue'." Murto said, confiding in the fact that he didn't end up with Naru. 

"ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS!!!!" a harsh, despicable and yet truly fitting voice yelled. 

"It's.,." Shinobu uttered in utter shock.

"Ok, what's this cloth thing on the stick called again?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

****

The End, for now. 

.

.

****

End Notes: 

Ok, what'd you think? The first Author/Reviewer to guess correctly who the 'harsh, despicable and yet truly fitting voice' is wins an appearance in this possible epic. I look forward to your reviews and flames. I might even submit this to the T2M clan so as to attempt to join their ranks. :)

****

#1 – Ok, fanservicey army uniform? Think Testarossa-san from Full Metal Panic. 

****

#2 – Ever wondered why Aussies are the worst tippers in the world? That's because it is not a custom to tip in our country. THAT is why we only ever throw in 10 or 20 cents. This is also a tribute to Reservoir Dogs' opening scene. 

****

#3 – Yes, shock horror. It is a well-known fact that America is intent on shoving their culture down everyone else's throats. Why is it that Aussie TV has 9/10 yankee shows whereas Yankee TV has NO Aussie shows? I rest my case. (Heh, thanks to Rupert Murdoch, the Poms get Neighbours and Home + Away. Sucked in.)

Anyhoo, Hope to hear from you soon!

Myuu: Egotistical ba-

Murto: MYUU! Please, I'm trying for a lower rating this time. 

Myuu: Ok, but I still think you're an egotistical ba--~-


	2. It's the armour Chicks DIG the armour

**Title:** Love vs Hina

**Chapter:** #2 - It's the armour. Chicks _dig_ the armour.

**Author**: Murto (Fan Fiction writers are the scum of the universe, la la la)

.

Myuu: Why are you singing that song?

Murto: *Ignoring Myuu's comment because Excel Saga is cool* .,.it doesn't even matter if one dies, lu lu lu. 

Myuu: Hmm, I agree with you there. *Glows red, creating a fireball in her hands*

Murto: *Completely unaware of Myuu's impending attack* Fan Fiction writers should get off the dole and get a real job, la la l-ARRRGGH! 

*Murto runs around in circles, his ass on fire*

.

**Notes:** Now that the usual intro bull-shite is over, I'll quickly apologise for the updating (or lack thereof) of "It could only get worse". I'm sorry, I am halfway thru chapter 6, but I've hit writers block. I feel sorry for Quentin Tarentino, now I realise how difficult it is to write in that sort of style. 

Also, in this series there will be a lot of similarities with Unreal Tournament 1, Starsiege Tribes 1 and a few other games along those lines. I don't know much about Halo, so the setting of Bloodgulch Canyon is as far as it's going to go for the time being. 

**Legal Crap:** I don't own Love Hina, the game mode "Capture the Flag" or any games with "Capture the Flag" in it. I _do_ own, however, some aspects of the plot (I think) and the idea of combining Love Hina with Capture the Flag. 

.

------------------------------------------------.

**Love vs Hina**

**Chapter 2: It's the armour. Chicks _dig_ the armour.**

Last time, on Love vs Hina.,.

"Oh well, could be worse. We could have been 'Blue'." Murto said, confiding in the fact that he didn't end up with Naru. 

"ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS!!!!" a harsh, despicable and yet truly fitting voice yelled. 

"It's.,." Shinobu uttered in utter shock.

"Ok, what's this cloth thing on the stick called again?"

Now lets continue, Ne?

------------------------------------------------.

"Dude you've got to be kidding me," Murto complained. "How did you get in charge?"

"That's 'How did you get in charge Sergeant Kanako, Sir!' private." Kanako smiled wryly. "For that, you're taking on the enemy with NO WEAPONS!"

"This sucks," he whined, grudgingly handing over his pistol. 

"Say sugar, I thought you were on Kanako's side?" Kitsune asked, leaning over on her LAW launcher with her tank top showing only what the most perverted fanboy could dream of. 

"I am, but don't tell me the fact that she's in command doesn't make you the _slightest_ bit nervous?"

"SILENCE!!," Kanako screamed. "For talking without permission, I'll take your armour too."

"Oh my, Murto-kun is going to freeze to death." Mutsumi said cheerfully. 

Murto took off his maroon coloured armour and gave it to Kanako. 

"F*#^%& hell it's cold out here. It's at least below 20oC out here." Murto cursed as his skin slowly started to turn blue. 

"Ok you primitive screw heads, listen up! This.,.is my BOOMSTICK!!," Kanako announced, swinging around a huge Colt .45 pistol. "It's a 12 gauge double barreled 'Remington', S-Mart's top of the line." 

"Umm, do you realise how much Colt pistols suck balls?" Murto asked, shivering in a pair of 'Kiss me, I'm just a horny underpaid musician' boxer shorts, the sight of which almost making Kitsune nosebleed. (But for the sake of my skin being ripped off by other authors I'll only say 'almost')

Kanako ignored Murto's comment, despite deciding to switch to a more formidable weapon. 

"It retails for about $109.95, it's made of cobalt blue steel, got a walnut stock and a hair trigger. Remember; shop smart, shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT???" She said, yelling the last bit whilst shaking her newly acquired Howitzer in the air. 

"How does Kanako-senpai hold that big a gun without falling over," Shinobu pointed out. 

"Oh my, I wonder how Kei-kun is going over at their base." Mutsumi pondered. 

"They probably don't have _any_ of the problems we're already having." Murto complained. 

------------------------------------------------------.

At the Blue base.,.

"Wow, look at this gun," Keitaro said, looking down the barrel of his M1 Carbine. 

"It's just a gun, dipshit." Naru replied. 

"I would much rather prefer my sword," Motoko complained, holding a 6-barreled Grenade Launcher. 

"But it's so thick. Amazing, it's so long.,.and hard! I'll really have to lubricate it well.,." Keitaro continued. 

"You PERVERTED B#ST#RD!!!!" Naru yelled, punching Keitaro out of line and into a nearby tank. 

"Oww, my head hurts and my face hurts. I have two owies!" he said before passing out. 

"Oh dear," Haruka said, wearing a Blue suit of battle armour with Sarge's stripes on the shoulders. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to do anything with these losers."

Keitaro, though unconscious, was still twitching. Motoko, thinking that he was doing something perverted again started pistol-whipping him with the butt of her Grenade Launcher. 

"Oh well, it's all in good fun." Haruka continued. 

"Oh isn't it just?" Seta smiled optimistically. "You see, I _told_ him you could pick up chicks with a tank!"

-----------------------------------------------------------.

**The end, for now.******

.

.

**End notes**: Ok, another short yet hopefully hilarious chapter. I'm trying to keep the chapters short, simple and sweet; tell me if it's working! Reviews please. 

_For those of you confused about the teams, here they are as they stand at the moment:_

**Red Team:**

Kanako - Sarge

Murto

Shinobu

Kitsune

Mutsumi

**Blue Team:**

Haruka - Sarge

Seta

Naru

Motoko

Keitaro

Ok. I'll see you later, ne?

Myuu: So, is it just a coincidence that Mutsumi, Kitsune, Shinobu _and_ Kanako are on your team?

Murto: Yeah, it is. Okay?

Myuu: NO IT'S NOT OKAY!! *Launches a few fireballs in his direction*

Murto: Argh! No, not the boxers!


	3. Growing Epidemic That really aint fly

****

Title: Love vs Hina

****

Chapter: #3 – Growing Epidemic

****

Author: Murto (*Ignites Lightsaber* Is there life after Darth?)

.

Myuu: No.

Murto: *Synthesised Breathing* Join me. It is your Desss-tiny.

Myuu: *Smacks him upside the head* Try hard. 

.

****

Notes: Here you go, installment number 3. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it. 

****

Legal Crap: You know the drill. If you read the previous 2 chapters you know what should be written here. I should only have to write it once per story, not every chapter, so I entrust that you'll remember the legal crap for the next few chapters, ne?

------------------------------------------------------.

.

****

Love vs Hina

Chapter 3: Growing Epidemic

.

"Okay Corporal, get down there and do what has to be done!" Kanako yelled.

"Yes Kanako-senpai! I mean sir. Sorry, I meant madam. I mean~" Shinobu acknowledged meekly, running off inside the flag building to defend what was most precious. 

"Otohime!! Get down to the shed and get whatever tanks and stuff down there ready for action!!" Kanako continued, her yelling making the 5 stars on each shoulder shake on her new outfit. 

"Ara, this is kinda fun. Hai hai, General-sama!" the turtle girl replied, wearing a pair of overalls and carrying a toolbox in her hands. 

"Kanako-san, now that you've appointed yourself Chief-Commanding-Lieutenant-Major-General, I have a question to ask." Kitsune said. #1

"Permission to ask a question granted, Konno." The evil General informed. 

"Well, it's regarding your uniform. What is the go with those pants?"

Kanako blinked. 

"What's wrong with my pants?"

"Well, let me say this. Those pants are those brown riding pants like what movie directors, generals or people riding horses wear."

"And?" Kanako interjected.

"Well I'd say they're living up to their name"

Kanako blinked again. 

Then face-faulted. 

"**You'd better fix yourself girl, you've got a camel toe.**

Mmm hmm, that's right, ah huh, OH NO!

Fix yourself girl, you've got a camel toe."

"NO SONGFICS!!!!! Konno, if you don't get your ass down into that bunker over there I'm gonna castrate you!!!

"But I'm female" the fox girl replied.

"I DON'T CARE!"

Kitsune uttered a slight meep and ran off. 

"But seriously, it _is_ **a growing epidemic, that really ain't fly.**" She muttered

---------------------------------------------------.

****

Meanwhile, at the hopefully more sane Blue Base. 

.

"So what are we gonna do, Haruka-san?" Naru asked, unloading a dozen bullets from her .303 sniper rifle and reloading a new clip. 

"Well, I think Suu wants us to capture the enemy's flag. The winner probably wins the argument over Murto's tip money." Haruka replied. 

"If I had my sword that wouldn't be such a difficult task, however this is kinda fun." Motoko said, launching 6 grenades from her grenade launcher then drawing a glock from her holster and emptying it's clip. 

"Ah, do you _really_ think this is a good idea." Haruka asked, still expressionless with an unlit cigarette in her mouth as usual. 

"Nah, its fine Haruka." Naru said reassuringly, pulling the pin out a grenade with her teeth and throwing it. 

"HEY! THIS IS REALLY UNFAIR!" Keitaro complained. 

"Hey, sit still!" Motoko ordered.

Keitaro was up against a concrete wall with dozens of bullet holes surrounding him with the odd larger hole made by the grenades. 

"Isn't this fun?" Seta said holding a huge, smoking gatling gun; wearing a green singlet, camo pants and a thousand rounds of ammunition draped over his shoulders. 

"Yeah! It's like this one episode of Liddo-kun where Liddo-kun went skirmish and practised shooting paintballs at all the Liddo-chans and they all died and got compensation. Yeah, like that." Mutsumi said, holding two Beretta 9mm pistols. 

"NO, NOT LIKE THAT!" Naru yelled back. 

"Hang on, aren't you on Red team? What are you doing here?" Motoko asked. 

"Oh my, I don't remember" Mutsumi replied. 

Everyone fell on the ground in a classic anime fall. Then, a few hundred meters away, three shadowy figures were hiding amongst the mist. 

"Playing games I see" said Elder #1

"Yes, a great way to waste time." Said Elder #2

"Capture the flag at the Hinata" Elder #3 remarked.

"I'll bring the guns" Elder #2 commented.

"Screencheating is not allowed" Elder #1 stated. 

-------------------------------------------------------------.

****

The end, for now. 

.

.

****

End Notes: Ok, so how was chapter #3? Don't worry, the action will start soon. I'm just about to get things started. I can't really just jump straight in, ne? 

#1 – Remember, Lieutenant is pronounced 'Lef-tenant'. ^_^

The riding pants is based on a scene from 'Angry Beavers'

The songfic however isn't.

Keitaro against the wall being used as target practise is based on an episode of 'Red vs Blue' 

Keitaro's line 'Hey, this is really unfair' was thrown in partly because I was originally gonna call this episode "Really Unfair". Then I thought of the songfic…

.

****

So~

.

How the hell _did_ Mutsumi get to the Blue base? 

When is Suu, the minor characters as well as the odd FanFic Author gonna make their appearances?

Who _WILL_ Capture the Flag?

.

Murto: Please, remove my mask. I want to look upon you with my own eyes. 

Myuu: But you'll die. *Blinks* ALRIGHT!!!!

*Removes the shiny black mask, Murto dies*


	4. Marathon Begins

****

Title: Love vs Hina

****

Chapter: #4 – Marathon begins

****

Author: Murto (*Staring off blankly into space*)

Myuu: *Waving hand in front of Murto's face* What the…?

Murto: *Unresponsive, drools slightly*

Myuu: Well finally, about time he became a vegetable

****

Notes: Hey dudes, congrats on reading my FanFic up to here at least. Kudos to Ken Akamatsu for creating such a great series in the first place and also kudos to broadband Internet, which has allowed me to have a Love Hina Marathon the other day. I can't wait until I can do it again, and waste another 11½ hours!

****

Legal Crap: Seriously dude, how can I own anything when I'm on $6000 a year, ne? (Plus tax, *sigh*)

I apologise for the misspelling of "Su" for the last couple of FanFics. Not that it matters, it was just a force of habit. 

I also apologise to the "Bushells" Tea Company for drinking at least 50 cups when I had my aforementioned LH Marathon. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------.

****

Love vs Hina

Chapter 4 – Marathon begins

*Shadowy figures sit on the surrounding cliffs between the 2 bases*

"WOW! My plan is working just perfectly! Virtual-kun v2.0 was a complete success!" Kaolla Su said as she danced in celebration. 

"Yeah, but I wish they would hurry up already!" Baka-Alaskan complained.

"Dude, check out Haruka! OH MY cGOD, she's making me horny!" Shirai said, nose bleeding as usual. 

"Dude, if you want an older woman go for Grandma Hina." Haitani replied. 

"Eww! That's just wrong! Though I do feel sorry for Cleopatra though." Baka-Alaskan said. 

"Dude, I know what you mean. She's been dead for thousands of years, one look at her and I'm sure Shirai would completely forget Granny Hina." 

"Well there's always Shampoo from Ranma ½"

"Hey dude, what about the old dude that turns into a panda. I'm sure he'd fulfill Shirai's fantasies"

"The scary thing is how you know about _HIS_ fantasies." Baka-Alaskan said, with a mega-face fault. 

"LOOKIT!! YAY YAY YAYYYYY! Mutsumi is at the Blue base!" Su cheered, moon walking in celebration. 

"GIMME THOSE!" Haitani yelled, using Su's binoculars whilst she was still wearing them, thus choking her. 

Baka-Alaskan shook his head, grasping bridge of his nose. "Why the Author decided that Su should moon walk is completely beyond me…"

----------------------------------------------------------------.

****

Meanwhile, at the Red Base

"HEY!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ACTION THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE PLACE AT THE BLUE BASE" Baka-Alaskan complained.

****

Don't worry man, its called suspense. I know that you'll keep reading in the hope that Mutsumi will kick ass.

"True, continue."

Anyhoo…**Meanwhile, at the Red Base**

"Ok, this REALLY sucks balls," the Author Murto complained. "I haven't been in my own self-insert FanFic for almost a chapter and a half now, and besides without my armour I'm suffering a terrible amount of shrinkage."

"AHH! My virgin ears!" Shinobu screamed. She then collapsed complete with spinny eyes. 

Kitsune was snickering. Mutsumi was swaying around like she was fainting then coming to just as she was about to fall over and Chief-Commanding-Lieutenant-Major-General Kanako was nowhere to be seen. 

"That's it! I'm doin' something about this whilst the evil bitch queen isn't around!"

"But Murto-san, Naru is on the other team." Kitsune pointed out.

"True, but though I admit I have a soft spot for Kanako she was the one I was in fact referring to." 

"Ok, whatever," Kitsune said, her eyes drifting…south. "It also seems that time might not be on your side either". 

"DAMMIT KITSUNE!!" Murto yelled. "You know if you weren't so hot you'd be in orbit by know." 

Murto then reached into his pocket, pulling out a little container marked 'Capsule Corp.' on the side. He opened it and took out one of the little tablets, pressed the button on the top and then tossed it a few meters away.

" 'Tossed it a few meters away'?" Kitsune commented.

Shinobu, who'd just came to, heard Kitsune's comment and then promptly passed out again. Then in a puff of smoke, the capsule turned into a lamppost. 

"Oops, wrong one." Murto said whilst scratching his head. "Let's try this one!"

After a puff of smoke, the second Capsule turned into a refrigerator. 

"HEY!! Wait up!" Kitsune yelled frantically, with enough emotion to win an Oscar. "There's sake in here! Ooh, and beer too."

"Ara ara, it looks like Kitsune-san and Murto-kun will be a while, ne Shinobu?" Mutsumi spoke, smiling as usual. 

Shinobu's eyes just continued to spin…

--------------------------------------------------------.

****

Now, at the Blue Base…

Audience: YAY! w00t!

****

Heh, only jokin'. Back to the cliff…

Audience: *Pitchforks and flaming torches in hands*

****

*Meep!* **Ok, to the Blue base then…jeez.**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REMEMBER!!" Naru yelled. 

"Ara, what are you talking about. As a matter of fact, who are you?" Mutsumi asked, smiling ditzfully as usual. 

"What _IS_ wrong with that girl?" Motoko said. "She has to be the single ditziest person I know."

"No she isn't. Cal from Undergrads is worse, guy *slurp*." Keitaro stated. 

"Ara, it's like that time on liddo-kun and friends where liddo-kun went to the blue base and lost his memory and the liddo-chans were paying him out then he pulled out a pair of Beretta 9mm pistols and killed the liddo-chans then ate pudding. Yeah, like that!" the turtle-girl said, interrupting the argument. 

"NO, NOT LIKE THAT! Wait, I think I recognise the first half of that one…" Naru said.

"Oh my, that's because," Mutsumi said, reaching into her pockets. "...that's what's gonna happen."

Mutsumi then did a backwards somersault, firing at the blue base's inhabitants. When she landed she strafed from side to side with the two pistols in crossed-over gansta mode. After emptying both clips, she then ran and hid behind a nearby rock. 

"Ok that was…weird." Haruka said dryly. "Everyone ready to pop a cap in her ass?"

Keitaro was against the concrete wall with bullet holes surrounding him, _again._ Naru was in the middle of a classic face-fault and Motoko was locking and loading her 8-ball launcher. 

"Ok, this bitch is going down." Motoko stated, standing up and looking like a man on a mission. 

Motoko then jumps out of the screen and out of the MSWord Document that lay in front of the author. 

"I hate men…" the chibi-Motoko said whilst wielding her grenade launcher. 

"OK!" the author replied. "Take 2! Annnnnnnd……Hajime!"

-------------

"Ok, this bitch is going down." Motoko stated, standing up and looking like a woman on a mission.

Mutsumi had finished reloading and jumped back out from behind the rock. Motoko jumped off the roof of the blue base and both girls charged at each other. Motoko was yelling 'DIE TURTLE-GIRL, DIE!' and Mutsumi did a double forward somersault whilst yelling 'SUCKS TO BE YOU, BITCH!'.

Motoko's 1st grenade missed and exploded to the right of Mutsumi and Mutsumi's hail of 9mm bullets were barely missing Motoko and took chips out of her blue battle armour. 

The second of Motoko's grenades hit a nearby rock, sending dust and debris everywhere. Mutsumi was greatly affected by this, coughing and spluttering from the dust getting into her eyes and mouth. Motoko launched again……..

****

TO BE CONTINUED, _AGAIN!_

--------------------------------------------------

****

End Notes: There you's go. How was that? As you can see the action has finally begun. I am doing weekly updates as you can see and the first person to correctly guess what's gonna happen next gets nothing really, but if they want they can have an appearance in this fic or one of their suggestions put through. The inclusion of the author Baka-Alaskan is purely just a tribute to his strong support of this fic, and the same sort of thing will be seen with other authors in time. 

I've always wanted to do a spoof of the whole Dragon Ball Z Capsule Corp thingees. I have finally done it! **__**

So…….

Will Murto and Kitsune ever pull themselves away from the beer-fridge long enough to assist Mutsumi in capturing the flag?

Will Shinobu _ever_ lighten up, wake up and get over Kitsune and Murto's dumb yet disgusting antics?

Will the Liddo-kun joke _ever_ die?

Who will win the duel between Mutsumi and Motoko?

and **WHO _WILL_ CAPTURE THE FLAG?????**

Murto: Dun dun duuuuunnnnnnnn……

Myuu: *Holding a beer* Murto, you forgot this…


	5. What the F&K? Mistaken

****

Title: Love vs Hina

****

Chapter: #5 – What the F#&K? : Mistaken

****

Author: Murto

****

Stupid Crap: Us Aussies support our TV like the British support their cricket team. They both suck, but why the hell not? :)

****

Pre-FanFic Notes: Sorry 'bout the late update everyone. Unfortunately my updates will be a little less often and more irregular for the time being because uni has started since the last Fic. I won't be stopping this Fic however because it's really awesome, and I can't leave Baka-Alaskan on a cliffhanger, ne? 

My other LH Fic, "It could only get worse" has been placed on indefinite hold (ie: I've given up). Though the whole Tarentino thing woulda been cool, I didn't execute it well enough from the start in my opinion. I could continue but the ending would pro'lly be crap and unsubstantial. If a shitload of inspiration hits me and I am able to pull it off I'll post the last chapter or two. I might even post the ½-way completed 6th chapter if I get enough requests….

****

Legal Stuff: Let me put it this way. I am typing this on my Pentium 2 – 233mhz computer that I bought last year for $30. Now think about the prohibitive cost of the rights to Love Hina and "Capture the Flag" (if that's even possible). Get the picture?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

****

Chapter 5: What the F#&K? – Mistaken

Kitsune, Shinobu and the author of this fic Murto were hanging around the Red Base, wasting time as usual…

"So anyways, I says to this punk 'OI! Whatsh you lookin at rrrrrretard!! You make me wanna PUKE!'" Murto said before he passed out. 

"My oh my! What do we have here!" Kitsune said. 

"What is it, K-Kitsune-senpai?" Shinobu asked.

"Not quite sure to tell you the truth, it's something big. Ooh, it's moving too!"

Through the binoculars Kitsune could see a couple of figures jumping around shooting at each other in the Blue Base. Judging by the firepower one could almost say that these characters were quite determined on killing each other. 

"Well, not much we can do about it. Where's my sake?" Kitsune continued, looking for the drink in question. 

"I'VE GOT IT!! We'll use the teleporter!" Murto yelled excitably. 

"DING DING DING!!!! THAT'S THE SECRET WORD FOR THE DAY!!!!" Shinobu screamed, wearing a paper hat and blowing all manner of airhorns rather energetically. 

"The teleporter? I don't think that we should use the teleporter. It could be dangerous." Kitsune mused.

"DING DING DING!!!! THAT'S THE SECRET WORD FOR THE DAY!!!!"

"Ano…" Mutsumi said trying to capture someone's attention, but everyone seemed to completely deny Mutsumi's existence at this point of time…

"Why, it's not dangerous. We already tested it." Murto said.

"Yeah, we chucked rocks through it." Kitsune replied.

"And…?"

"When we used that stupid contraption they came out the other side all hot and covered in black stuff."

"DING DING DING!!!! THAT'S THE SECRET WORD FOR THE DAY!!!!" Shinobu celebrated, again. Kitsune and Murto sweatdropped. 

"Umm, lets just go already…" Murto said, jumping into the teleporter dragging Kitsune along with him. 

"Ara, oh well. I guess I'll just use in the Scorpion-class battle tank I found! Wanna come along Shinobu?" Mutsumi asked. 

"DING DING DING!!!! THAT'S THE SECRET WORD FOR THE DAY!!!!" Shinobu replied. 

"I'll take that as a yes then…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

****

Meanwhile, at the Blue Base

Mutsumi had finished reloading and jumped back out from behind the rock. Motoko jumped off the roof of the blue base and both girls charged at each other. Motoko was yelling 'DIE TURTLE-GIRL, DIE!' and Mutsumi did a double forward somersault whilst yelling 'SUCKS TO BE YOU, BITCH!'.

Motoko's 1st grenade missed and exploded to the right of Mutsumi and Mutsumi's hail of 9mm bullets were barely missing Motoko and took chips out of her blue battle armour. 

The second of Motoko's grenades hit a nearby rock, sending dust and debris everywhere. Mutsumi was greatly affected by this, coughing and spluttering from the dust getting into her eyes and mouth. Motoko launched again……..

"Ara…" Mutsumi muttered before copping the grenade in the stomach and being engulfed in smoke and fire. She was thrown back by the explosion and was quite possibly seriously injured. I won't go into the details, as that makes for a boring FanFic. 

"Ha, pathetic weakling." Motoko said smugly, blowing the smoke off the barrel of the 8-ball grenade launcher. 

"Too easy" Haruka said, lighting her cigarette. 

"You BITCH!!!" Kanako yelled, obviously quite pissed off at Motoko's victory. 

One of Kanako's stray bullets shot Haruka's newly lit cigarette out of her mouth, causing her to swear and curse. 

"Why is it that everyone time I impersonate someone I get found out?" Kanako continued. 

"Kanako! So that wasn't Mutsumi?" Naru asked.

"Apparently not," Haruka said, raising an eyebrow.

"Damn, and I was so close to the flag too…" Kanako complained.

ZAP!! Was the descriptive word the author thought most appropriate for the sound of Kitsune and Murto exiting the teleporter. Both said characters were swearing and cursing from the pain ('Argh! So hot!') and were covered head to foot in black stuff. 

"Oh dear…" Haruka said, raising another eyebrow. 

"YAAAAHOOOO!!!" an indistinguishable voice yelled, carried by the wind and being altered quite a lot by the Doppler affect. 

"What the…?" Keitaro uttered

"Ara!! Look what I found!!" Mutsumi said, pulling up in front of the blue base driving a huge Scorpion-class main battle tank. This version was a two-seater, with spots for a driver and a gunner. Shinobu had mounted the gun. 

"DIE MUTHAF*CKING RETARDS!!! YOU MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION YOU TINY-BRAINED WIPERS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S BOTTOMS!" Shinobu screamed whilst emptying at least a thousand rounds a minute into the Blue Base.

"Oh dear…" Haruka said, raising another eyebrow. 

"HOW MANY EYEBROWS DO YOU HAVE??????" Keitaro asked.

"Just call me Haruka," She said, smacking him around the head whilst lighting another cigarette. 

"But I didn't call you 'Aunt'"

She smacked him around the head again. 

"What do you think you just called me then?" She retorted, only to have her newly cigarette shot out of her mouth again. 

Haruka, obviously quite pissed off because she wasn't getting her smoke she wanted so badly, checked her box of fags. Empty. 

"THAT'S IT!!!!!"

"Ooh!! Super Fun Happy Slide!!" Murto squealed with delight as he found a switch on the wall that indeed was labeled 'Super Fun Happy Slide'. 

"Don't use it Murto, it could be dangerous!" Motoko warned. 

"DING DING DING!!!! THAT'S THE SECRET WORD FOR THE DAY!!!!" Shinobu screamed excitably. 

"Ahem, I said 'THAT'S IT!'" Haruka yelled, obviously trying to capture everyone's attention so she could go medieval on…..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

****

End Notes: Oh my god!! Oh well. Tell me what you thought. Try guessing who's ass Haruka is gonna kick, but that's easy enough to guess. So tell me, what that weird or what?

The 'Super Fun Happy Slide' is from an episode of the Simpsons, one of their Halloween specials if you will. Some stuff was taken from 'Red vs Blue' again, only with a slight twist. As for the eyebrow and cigarette gags, don't ask. I should really do something about my vivid imagination, ne? **__**

So….

What is the secret word of the day? Will Murto ever get to ride the 'Super Fun Happy Slide'? Does the black stuff ever wash out? Who arse is gonna get kicked by Haruka **__**

And…

WHO _WILL_ CAPTURE THE FLAG!!!!!!!


End file.
